Why We Don't Hear Many Tears at Nestlings: A Reflection on Change, Compassion, and Childcare

Smiles, joy and security comes from lots of love and attention!

I met my neighbour’s gorgeous new-born baby yesterday. As they lovingly showed off this little bundle of life, they sheepishly apologised for any noise I might have been hearing from this tiny little person. I smiled and instinctively replied, “Don’t worry—I’m used to screaming babies.”

But as I walked away, that comment stuck with me. Was I really used to screaming babies? The more I thought about it, the more I realised... I’m not. Not anymore.

So much has changed since I first started working in nurseries all those moons ago. And thankfully, it’s changed for the better.

These days, at Nestlings, anyway, it’s actually rare to hear a baby or toddler cry for long. Of course, there are the occasional tears—after a bump, a fall, or when a little one is newly settling in. But full-on, inconsolable crying? That’s no longer the soundtrack of our days.

Instead, what you’ll hear at Nestlings is laughter, chatter, singing, storytelling—and yes, sometimes the gentle snores of a well-rested child.

That’s because we’ve created an environment where children feel truly safe, loved, and known. We take the time to build strong, nurturing relationships with each child. We respond to their needs, comfort them when they’re distressed, and make sure they always feel held—emotionally and physically. That true thought really hit home as I was wondering away from them and made me just so unbelievably proud of the Nestlings teams and all the love and care they provide.

When I reflect on the early days of my childcare career, I feel a real mix of emotions. Back then, it was seen as completely “normal” to let babies cry and even cry themselves to sleep. That was the advice. That was the culture. And so that’s what we did.

That was simply the guidance and culture at the time. These days, with everything we now know about children’s emotional wellbeing, it feels so different. I’m genuinely grateful to have grown with the profession and to now work in a setting where children are comforted, supported, and rarely left feeling upset for long. It’s reassuring to know how far early years care has come.

Thankfully, our understanding of child development, brain science, and emotional wellbeing has come such a long way. The research is clear: babies who are consistently comforted and responded to develop stronger emotional regulation, secure attachments, and healthier relationships.

Leaving a baby to “cry it out” isn’t just outdated—it can be traumatic. And honestly, doesn’t it just go against every instinct we have as humans? These tiny people come into the world completely helpless, never having asked to be here. It’s our responsibility—our privilege—to meet their needs with love, care, and compassion until they’re ready to meet those needs themselves.

At Nestlings, we take our settling-in period very seriously. It’s not just a tick-box exercise; it’s a crucial transition designed to make the child (and the parents!) feel as safe and secure as possible.

We don’t expect children to instantly feel comfortable being left with strangers—because they shouldn’t. Instead, we slowly build trust. We learn about each child’s routines, likes, dislikes, comfort objects, and cues. We spend time getting to know them before asking them to separate from their primary carers. That’s how we prevent distress—not by ignoring it, but by avoiding the conditions that cause it in the first place.

So no, I’m not really “used to” screaming babies. And I’m so glad I’m not.

What I am used to now is something much more beautiful: the sound of children who feel at home. Children who are emotionally held. Children who don’t need to cry for love, because love is already there.

And I hope, with all my heart, that this approach is now the norm across early years settings. Because every child deserves to be heard. Every child deserves to be held. And every child deserves to be happy.

Happy smiling little faces at Nestlings Nurseries